Would you ever trade a personal gift?
For many people, I know the answer is an immediate No, Never. For others, the question isn't that binary. Would you return a gift for a store credit or refund? What if you weren't using the gift?
Once upon a time, I used to be a chess enthusiast. I hung around the chess tables by Sam the Record Man watching the street hustlers. I read back issues of en Passant. I played whenever I could, and once I even drew a game with an international master (of course, it was a simultaneous exhibition match with about sixteen others in a mall).
Anyway, I used to occasionally play against my friend Jeff, about fifteen years ago. One day he returned from a vacation with a gift for me: a lovely stone chess set.
But here's the thing: I never really found a good spot for it in my apartment. Aside from sporadic stints on display, it mostly gathered dust in my closet.
I deeply appreciated the gift at the time—and I still do. But I wasn't using the set. It was being wasted in my possession.
To my mind, this was an opportunity to allow this chess set to fulfill its destiny, in someone else's hands. In a way, you could argue that Jeff was now karmically responsible for giving two gifts instead of one.
The aspect that tickles people's morality is, whether or not I should benefit from passing on the set. Some would find it acceptable, if I were to merely re-gift it. But getting something in return for it? That's too much like selling it off.
For me, it wasn't an issue. A gift is a gift: once given, if it is truly a gift, the recipient is free to do whatever they want with it, with neither reciprocal action nor expectations as to its final disposition.
Here's what I got for the set: some booze, and an educational DVD game.
Jeff, if you ever read this, I want you to know this: I am thankful for the chess set you gave to me, and will always appreciate your thoughtfulness. And I didn't just trade it off to anyone: I made sure the set went to someone who would actually play with it. I hope you will enjoy knowing that you indirectly made an eleven year old chess keener extremely happy.
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